Pete and Tammy

Pete and Tammy - summer 2007

I hate answering the phone sometimes. On Saturday, January 10, I had one of those phone calls. My brother called to tell me that our cousin Pete and his wife Tammy had been in a car accident. Tammy had been killed instantly and Pete was in surgery in critical condition - they weren't sure if he would survive. I just stood there holding the phone in disbelief. Not another tragedy in this family. Not Tammy. Not Pete. In 1995, 2 of Pete's younger brothers, Chad and Chuck, died tragically - Chad drowned while swimming at the YMCA and 3 weeks later, Chuck was killed in a car accident. So much pain and sadness. I couldn't comprehend all of it then, and even now, it is impossible to understand why a family would have to suffer so much. Why my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Averill would have to lose 2 sons - why my cousins would have to lose 2 brothers - why my family would have to lose 2 cousins, grandsons, nephews. I was close to both Chad and Chuck, and there isn't a year that goes by where I don't call my Aunt Sharon to talk with her on Chad and Chuck's birthdays and death days. I still miss them. I still remember precisely the circumstances surrounding the phone calls we received when they died - I was 16 - and I remember feeling like my world just stopped when hearing that Chad had died. 3 weeks later, when we got the call about Chuck, I felt like the pain that had already been there consumed my heart and broke it right in two. So to get a call on January 10 of this year, to hear that I had lost one more cousin and that Pete might not make it either, I just kind of froze there again. I couldn't understand why this family had to experience more pain. I adore my Aunt Sharon - she is one of the kindest and most gentle women I know - but she has suffered more in her life than anyone I have ever known. Yet she continues to be faithful - even in her questioning and her grief. In that moment when I hung up with my brother Phil, I knew one thing - I knew that I needed to go home to be with my family. I didn't know how it would happen, but I prayed a silent prayer that God would provide a way for us to go. Also in that moment, David wrapped his strong arms around me and prayed for my family and for God to spare Pete's life. Thankfully, God provided tickets for us at a very reasonable cost. We were able to go support my family during this painful time. We were able to attend Tammy's memorial service that honored her life and her love for her family and her Jesus. We were praising God for sparing Pete's life. We were able to witness God's healing grace in Pete's life as he came through the critical window and starting making great strides in his recovery. It was such a bittersweet time to be with the very people I love the most on this earth and to remember how short - a vapor the Bible calls it - our life on earth is.

Pete, Tammy, Brittany, Peter, and Cody

Tammy has been in my life for almost as long as I can remember - I was 8 when they were married. I remember her walking down the stairs at my Grammy's house as they were united in marriage. Pete and Tammy's marriage faced many challenges but they were faithful to each other even in the hard times. They loved each other. They loved their 3 children. We spent many hours together around the table at Camp BaYouCa at meals or after chapel. Some of my favorite memories are at camp with my family - I always remember Pete and Tammy being there even when they had to sacrifice the entire year just to get there family there for the week. Tammy was a sweet, gentle, and kind woman - but she was a also a determined fighter for what she believed in. I think this is what made her such a good wife and loving mom because she was fierce about the love of her family. I am so thankful to have known and loved Tammy - I miss her already. I will miss hearing her call me "Joybell" (her and my Grammy are the only 2 who call me that). I am confident that she is with Jesus. He had a plan for her life, and He knew the exact moment she would step into eternity with Him - and even now, He is still using her life.

Please continue to pray for my family - especially Pete and their 3 children Brittany, Peter Jr. and Cody. There are ongoing challenges but in the midst of all the pain, God is doing amazing healing work that is awesome to see. Elisabeth Elliot says that God never wastes pain - and He won't waste Tammy's death either. He is working even though there are still many sad days. He is good especially in the bad times - may He be praised in these dark, painful days.

Trey walking with me and my Grammy

My sweet sister Faith and my niece Hannah with us