Pete and Tammy

Pete and Tammy - summer 2007

I hate answering the phone sometimes. On Saturday, January 10, I had one of those phone calls. My brother called to tell me that our cousin Pete and his wife Tammy had been in a car accident. Tammy had been killed instantly and Pete was in surgery in critical condition - they weren't sure if he would survive. I just stood there holding the phone in disbelief. Not another tragedy in this family. Not Tammy. Not Pete. In 1995, 2 of Pete's younger brothers, Chad and Chuck, died tragically - Chad drowned while swimming at the YMCA and 3 weeks later, Chuck was killed in a car accident. So much pain and sadness. I couldn't comprehend all of it then, and even now, it is impossible to understand why a family would have to suffer so much. Why my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Averill would have to lose 2 sons - why my cousins would have to lose 2 brothers - why my family would have to lose 2 cousins, grandsons, nephews. I was close to both Chad and Chuck, and there isn't a year that goes by where I don't call my Aunt Sharon to talk with her on Chad and Chuck's birthdays and death days. I still miss them. I still remember precisely the circumstances surrounding the phone calls we received when they died - I was 16 - and I remember feeling like my world just stopped when hearing that Chad had died. 3 weeks later, when we got the call about Chuck, I felt like the pain that had already been there consumed my heart and broke it right in two. So to get a call on January 10 of this year, to hear that I had lost one more cousin and that Pete might not make it either, I just kind of froze there again. I couldn't understand why this family had to experience more pain. I adore my Aunt Sharon - she is one of the kindest and most gentle women I know - but she has suffered more in her life than anyone I have ever known. Yet she continues to be faithful - even in her questioning and her grief. In that moment when I hung up with my brother Phil, I knew one thing - I knew that I needed to go home to be with my family. I didn't know how it would happen, but I prayed a silent prayer that God would provide a way for us to go. Also in that moment, David wrapped his strong arms around me and prayed for my family and for God to spare Pete's life. Thankfully, God provided tickets for us at a very reasonable cost. We were able to go support my family during this painful time. We were able to attend Tammy's memorial service that honored her life and her love for her family and her Jesus. We were praising God for sparing Pete's life. We were able to witness God's healing grace in Pete's life as he came through the critical window and starting making great strides in his recovery. It was such a bittersweet time to be with the very people I love the most on this earth and to remember how short - a vapor the Bible calls it - our life on earth is.

Pete, Tammy, Brittany, Peter, and Cody

Tammy has been in my life for almost as long as I can remember - I was 8 when they were married. I remember her walking down the stairs at my Grammy's house as they were united in marriage. Pete and Tammy's marriage faced many challenges but they were faithful to each other even in the hard times. They loved each other. They loved their 3 children. We spent many hours together around the table at Camp BaYouCa at meals or after chapel. Some of my favorite memories are at camp with my family - I always remember Pete and Tammy being there even when they had to sacrifice the entire year just to get there family there for the week. Tammy was a sweet, gentle, and kind woman - but she was a also a determined fighter for what she believed in. I think this is what made her such a good wife and loving mom because she was fierce about the love of her family. I am so thankful to have known and loved Tammy - I miss her already. I will miss hearing her call me "Joybell" (her and my Grammy are the only 2 who call me that). I am confident that she is with Jesus. He had a plan for her life, and He knew the exact moment she would step into eternity with Him - and even now, He is still using her life.

Please continue to pray for my family - especially Pete and their 3 children Brittany, Peter Jr. and Cody. There are ongoing challenges but in the midst of all the pain, God is doing amazing healing work that is awesome to see. Elisabeth Elliot says that God never wastes pain - and He won't waste Tammy's death either. He is working even though there are still many sad days. He is good especially in the bad times - may He be praised in these dark, painful days.

Trey walking with me and my Grammy

My sweet sister Faith and my niece Hannah with us

Real Resolutions for Moms

I borrowed this from Karen Ehman's blog - I thought it was great and precisely summed up my heart for this new year.

It’s that time when many of us are making New Year’s resolutions, so how about some resolutions for mothers? Here are mine:

I will put my Bible before the television, the radio, the telephone, and even before good Christian books, for my children will know my priorities by the way they see me spend my free time.

I will make my prayer requests known before God and my children, enlisting their help in the process and informing them of the outcome, for by letting them help when I petition our Lord will they learn of a living God who still answers prayer.

When times of crisis, conflict or confusion arise, I will hit my knees before I hit the phone knowing that by my example my children will discover that although friends are important, God alone is the one who holds the solution to life’s every problem.

I will erase the words “luck” and “lucky” from my vocabulary and will instead by my speech point my children toward the One who orchestrates every detail of our lives and brings all good things to pass, for by this my children will learn of an omniscient God.

When bad things happen, I’ll neither grumble nor complain, but will instead help my children see that in the scope of our lives even the bad times are allowed for a reason, for by this my children will learn quiet trust in their Maker.

When normal childhood mishaps occur, I will remember that although difficult, it is still easier to remove grape juice from off-white carpet than to erase harsh and unloving words hurled at a child whose chubby little fingers have failed her, for by this my children will see a God who understands when our best efforts fall short.

When my children have witnessed something ugly in me - unkind words, an angry temper, “harmless” gossip, biting sarcasm or even my infamous “mommy pout” when things don’t go my way - I will confess it as sin before them seeking their forgiveness, for by this my children will develop the much needed habit of wiping their spiritual slate clean before God and man.

I will teach my children the importance of cleanliness and order while at the same time remain sensitive to the fact that a skinned knee or hurt feeling is more crucial than a spotless floor or uncluttered counter, for by this my children will learn to value people above things.

I will make time for the lonely, the sick, the elderly, the difficult to love, and will bring my children along, for with each afternoon visit, each ride to the doctor, each raked lawn or washed window they will have opportunity to serve Jesus by serving the “least of these.”

I will make our home a haven of rest and retreat from the outside world and a welcomed place for my children’s friends, for with each impromptu backyard soccer game, each video viewed on a rainy day, each cup of hot cocoa or chocolate chip cookie, my children will have opportunity to practice the art of Christian hospitality thereby learning to share all God has given them.

I will by my actions and my speech let my children see a mom love their dad, for by this will my children sense family stability at a time when marriages all around them are crumbling.

I will not require of my children obedience, honesty, patience or kindness without first being willing to submit to the same rules whether in speed limit, in miscounted change from the grocery store or when answering a toddler for the fourteenth time, for by this my children will see a mother who is also learning and not a perfect parent to whom they’ll never measure up.

In all things will I remember that more is caught than is taught.

There are little eyes upon you, mom. You are the first Bible your children will ever read.

Happy New Year - 2008 Reflections

I usually get pretty analytical at the end of a year as I think about all that has happened in the previous 12 months. It is always exciting to start fresh the first day of a new year. A lot of life has been lived the past year, and we are grateful to God for the many blessings and trials the year has held. I thought I would cap some of the highlights each month held. Thank you, God, for all You have given to us and allowed us to do this past year.

January

• We drove home to TN after celebrating Christmas and New Year's in PA

• David went to Nashville to visit good friends for a weekend

• David started classes at Pellissippi State - this was a HUGE step for him and I was so proud of him taking that step - he still worked full time at Sprint but wasn't very happy with his job there - we started praying that God would help him find his calling in life not just simply a job (thanks to 48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller)

• Joy and Trey visited good friends Jenn and Parker in Kennesaw, GA for a couple days

• Trey got RSV - thankfully, he had a mild case that has left no residual asthma or breathing issues - he did have to be on nebulizer treatments for a couple weeks

February

• Joy started back to work in labor and delivery 1 night a week on David's day off

• We visited Matt and Renee for a weekend in Chattanooga, TN

• We started praying for direction as we sensed a strong need for change in our family - we were praying specifically for David's schooling and Joy's work - Joy wanted to be closer to her family - we pursued schooling and work options in PA as well in Virginia, North Carolina - we decided that we would also pursue Phoenix because Joy had lived there before and we knew there were plenty of opportunities for jobs and schooling

March

• Joy's parents stop to see us for 2 nights on the way back from Florida

• We bought our first Mac

• Stephen and Catherine (David's brother) visited Knoxville and were able to meet Trey for the first time

April

• Joy accepts the job at Banner Good Samaritan in Phoenix, AZ

• We celebrated Easter with Joy's brother Mark and family in North Carolina

• We had our first date since Trey was born - we went to an afternoon movie and David's parents watched Trey for us - it was so nice to get out together

May

• Joy's first mother's day

• Trey and Joy go visit the Perry family in North Carolina

• We took a family beach vacation with friends to Panama City Beach, Florida - Trey's first trip to the beach - we had so much fun with friends for the week

June

• David's first father's day and birthday fell on the same day - we had a wonderful weekend celebrating with David's family as his brothers were home that weekend

• Joy and Trey flew to Seattle for her brother's ordination - her parents, Grammy, and Aunt Sharon were all there too - it was Trey's first flight and he did great

• Trey started to crawl and got faster and faster each day

July

• We took a long weekend trip to Phoenix to look for housing

• Joy's celebrated her 30th birthday

• We celebrated Joy's parent's 40th wedding anniversary in PA with a trip home for all her siblings and a getaway to a cabin for a few days

August

• Trey got croupe and was in the hospital for 2 nights - a crisis at the time but a blessing in disguise as we were delayed in driving out to AZ (God's timing is perfect)

• We found out last minute that we weren't able to drive David's car to AZ - we packed everything in Joy's car and decided to sell David's car

• We moved from Knoxville, TN to Glendale, AZ - we were going to rent a condo short term until we bought a home but God provided in other amazing ways for us

• We started living and serving at UIM in Glendale and started looking for our own home to buy

• Joy started her new job at Good Sam

September

• We put a contract on a home in Goodyear, AZ - a beautiful 4 BR, 2 BA single story short sale

• David learned the ropes around UIM and is so great at what he does here - he works about 20 hours a week and then cares for Trey while Joy is working or recovering from working

• We celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary in San Diego, CA - we spent very little for our 3 night stay thanks to Priceline.com

October

• We bought our king size bed (David was super excited - Joy was nominally excited due to having no linen for a king size mattress)

• Joy was diagnosed with hypothyroidism

• We canceled our contract on the home in Goodyear, AZ after much prayer - we believe God is calling us to stay and serve at UIM for the time being - this is a great ministry that we are a part of where we are able to meet different missionaries - David has a great interest in aviation, and there are missionary pilots and aviation mechanics with UIM that David has been able to meet - we believe that God placed us here to give us further direction for our future

• Trey celebrated his first birthday

November

• Mom Perry came to visit - it was her 60th birthday while she was here and her kids, husband, and mom all went in together to surprise her with a cruise - Dad Perry came out the night before her birthday and surprised her as well and the 5 of us went on a 4 night cruise together to Mexico

• We celebrated Trey's birthday with friends and family while in Knoxville - Joy's brother and nephew came from NC for Trey's party and the Riese's came from GA - Trey and Parker have fun playing together

• We celebrated Thanksgiving in Knoxville, TN with David's family - we had so much being together - we were able to reconnect with friends - Matt, Renee, Stephen and Catherine were all home for Thanksgiving too

December

• We took a trip to Seattle to see Joy's brother for a few days before Christmas\

• We celebrated Christmas here as a family - it was a special day where we made a birthday cake for Jesus

• We started thinking and praying together about our future with missions - we believe that God has us here at UIM to expose us to missions and to prepare our hearts for a possible future serving Him full time in missions someday. We hope to take a trip down to Tucson, AZ sometime in the near future to meet some of the pilots and aviation mechanics with UIM - David is also meeting with an Arizona Air Guard recruiter next week about reenlisting in the guard